Wet and not so wild MONDAY

So had the hardest time going to bed last night. My legs were killing me and I just couldn't get to sleep so I stayed awake watching movies. This morning was a late start but OK because I was tired. I still am sorry to say that I have not done my best at my mission. What the heck is wrong with me? Why am I still digging a hole deeper? I am broke yes but I got a little for some groceries but do I go...NO...I don't. Why, well because there are things that I have at the house that are not that good but that are already bought. I had to cancel my gym membership because don't know if will be able to pay next time. Now I know this should not stop me because I could always make better choices at eating and I could always workout outside or at home. I know I can do this. I was watching biggest loser last night when I was having a hard time sleeping and every single person said the one reason why they ate fast food was because....IT WAS EASY AND CONVENIENT...and that is exactly how I feel. They also showed a person how much money they would be spending on medical in the long run if they kept eating the way they did and it was over 3 million dollars. R U KIDDING ME. Is this true? Oh man what I could do even over time with that 3 mill. That is why I need to do this. I have great ideas and even putting them down on paper on how I can help myself out and maybe help others out but am I following my own thoughts...again NO..... But I need to. I got to keep saying this is not going to be easy but I have to do it. I will get it done. I need to get it done. I have to take my first step again NOW.
Chao for now
Vanessa

Almost there

Talked to a real good friend today that is helping me get through this hump. I just can't seem to shake. I realize that I have to throw my hands up and say... yes I messed up, then just get right back on the horse. I have a lot of work to do and a lot of catching up to do and I plan on doing it. I was told that I can't wait on anyone and honestly I think it was an excuse for me not to be so on top of things. This is my mission and the friends I have is my support they are like the people on the sidelines of a race cheering me on and throwing me water. Yeah some of them are probably in the same race but I need to think that even though I have a cheering section the race is a sole race. Now I am not saying losing weight is a race because I know I have to be like that turtle slow and steady because if I am not that way the weight will come right back. I know this is a lifestyle change and when I lost my job and my routine went out the door my mission went out the door with it. I realize I admit and now I am moving on. I have a lot of time on my hand and just need to figure out a whole new routin. I am not going to get too ahead of myself but just take it one day at a time. Thanks for listening and talk to you later.
Chao for now

Still Not there

Ok so today is monday yet again and still nothing. This past weekend I met with Vicky and I was very reluctant to step on the scale. But I did and it was not pretty and I know why. I don't know why I am in this funk. Anyways today the same thing. Funny thing is when I am working I say I have no time but now that I am not working I feel that time is flying by. I have to get going. Misti is on a roll and I am so proud of her and I know she should be motivating me but it is just not working. Ok tomorrow starts a whole new day and I am going to do well. All I can do is take it one step at a time. The good new is that tomorrow I have an interview. Yeah!!!!! I can't wait so excited I have everything ready and I can't wait to get this ball started. Maybe I will hit the gym right after. I need to work on motivating myself. Well all that is about it for me today. I shall talk to you alll later.
Chao for now
Vanessa

New Gym that looks great

Today went for it. It went to the new 24 hour gym here in El Cajon. Man is it a beauty. It has TV on most of the cardio machines. When Vicky told me that her gym has all this stuff I was like man that sounds great I bet I could do a bunch of cardio with that on my machine and yes I finally found a gym that has that. I did total about 1 1/2 workout that includes a cardio workout and circuit training time. I felt so good and still do now. I think one reason that I made it to the gym was because I had an ahh haa moment. I was watching biggester loser which probably all you are now because they just started a new season for the new year and I got it. One of the brothers that needed to be voted off said that he feels he could go home and not go back to work and just live at the gym because his family and work would allow him to do that. Now I am unemployed and besides looking for work I have nothing else to do. I have not kids I have nothing else to do so I thought why am I not at the gym right now. When I was working all I could think about was the time I needed to go work and well.... now I have time and I still wasn't doing as much. So Now that I realized that this must be done and it can be done because I have the time I AM GOING TO DO IT. So tomorrow I made plans already with my friend Misti to take our bikes out for a ride. I really can't wait. Ok all that is about it for me today. I shall talk to you all later.
Chao for now
Vanessa